Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Relationships... What are they?
Alright, so I'm sitting here waiting for 5PM to roll around. And a thought made its way into my head that got me thinking. So, most of you reading this probably are not single. I am. Maybe that's what started this. I have no idea. Anyway. For all those who are single and who are not (which is all of us), what purposes us to try to not be single? Why in the world do most of us want a significant other? If you're thinking comfort, guidance, love, etc, etc, etc, why can't friends fill those positions? What is it inside of us that wants that "other" that we as humans so desire. Whether it's a girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or wife, why? I understand that most of us as humans want to be loved and so on and so forth, but isn't that what friends and family already do? Why beat a dead horse? The answer to this question has eluded me for years, and still continues to do so. Even as time passes, as I'm sure as it is with most of you, that desire only becomes stronger. Is it really that important to us as humans to (I know I might be criticized for using this word, but I can't think of another better) "aquire" that other? Still to this day, I want to know why. And what exactly is a relationship? OK, so a boy asks girl, "Will you be my girlfriend?" She says yes. What then? What is it that makes this connection between these two specific people more different than if the boy had asked the girl, "Will you be my friend?" And yes, I understand that these two specific people can be more intimate and such, but what I'm getting at is why? What makes a relationship... well... a relationship? What exactly is it? So, in it I know you need trust, love, loyalty, etc, etc, etc, but what is it really built from? And this leads to another question. How can relationships be formed with complete strangers? So you know their name and that's about it. Why is it that it is so easy (or hard, for some people) to just get up and make a personal connection with them? So ultimately, I guess, my question is: What are relationships exactly and why do we need them? Any thoughts?
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This one is quite easy to answer. Put your mind 20,000 years into the past. We have been programmed through thousands of years of evolution to seek a mate. If you didn't, your genes would not be passed on, the human race would go extinct. Simply put humans need to have sex to have kids. Now the "long-term" relationship is due to the fact that a female must have a male to protect and provide for her and their children. Simple, right? Here's the kicker. Back all those years ago, if you tried to approach a woman who was already taken by the tribal leader or his friends, the tribal leader would have your brains bashed in. So, in order to ensure survival, you are genetically programmed to be fearful of approaching a woman. So how do people usually meet? Friends, 'cause it's safest. However, if your sex drive is high enough, it will be worth the risk (to your brain) of getting your head smashed by approaching a stranger. Sadly, we are obsolete for out modern times b/c we have evolved rapidly over a few hundred years, that's why we still maintain those genes in our brains. Peace.
ReplyDeleteOk, now that we've had the evolutionary stand-point, it's time for the Christian one. Trev, the reason we seek that one person to spend the rest of our lives with is because God created us to. Think about it. In the beginning Adam was alone. God was like, that's not right, he'll get all lonely. God could have created another man and they could've been bros, working as each others' wingmen, chasing tail throughout the garden of Eden. But God created Adam a woman. The being that will be his perfect counter-balance. He created for him, from him, a mate. A lover. A friend. A companion. One that will stick with him through thick and thin; will make mistakes with him; and share every victory with him. Women need the same thing. And though people like to pretend that all we have relationships for is sex, that's not true. Sex is a byproduct. It is a perk, but it does not bring lasting satisfaction. Friends can come and go. If you move away, they stay behind. But when you find the love of your life. The love that goes deeper than friendship, you have found the person that will, as the bible says, "leave her mother and father, and be united with her husband." That's for keeps, and she'll follow you to the ends of the earth. Hopefully that was sequenced logically and actually answered your question. If not, I'm totally up for a late-night convo on this topic. It's fun. (^_^)
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